And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
