dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
