I wannas sexs uuuuu
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
