obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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