remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
