Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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