i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
