I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
