Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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