Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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