I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
