I hope mine doesn't look like that
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
