margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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