If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
