guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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