hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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