the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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