I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
