im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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