you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
