I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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