sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
