god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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