I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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