Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
