I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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