Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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