you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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