the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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