I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
