none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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