Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Life is so much better after having sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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