I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
