A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i dont even know how to be here
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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