we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
