The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
