erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
