Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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