She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
