some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
