Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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