it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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