im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize