the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize