wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
