so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
