I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
