Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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