I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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