They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
