What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
