I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
