Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
