We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
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I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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