i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
