I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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