Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Found your dick twin last night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize