I wish I could teleport
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
